Monday, November 17, 2008

the latest...

Right after we were notified that our paperwork was returned to the US, we immediately searched for another adoption program to enter. At that point, we decided on Kyrgyzstan. Our agency did not offer this program, so we signed on to a "wait list " with another agency. They contacted us last week to tell us that our name would soon be at the top of the list and that we had 7 days to let them know if we were still interested in the program. Just to clarify, this would mean we would start the entire process over...with another agency...starting from scratch with a whole new set of documents to gather, more medicals, more meetings with the social worker, etc...So, after contemplating and lots of discussions, we have decided to wait on the adoption. We know we will adopt one day and it may be sooner than later, but for now...this moment, we will wait. Our hearts are still sad for the little girl that would have, should have, and could have been ours. We hope and pray that she is already safe with her forever family and that somehow, someway our paths may cross someday.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

not the news we wanted is official. Our dossier (paperwork) was returned to the US last week. Our adoption agency called us Friday, to tell us that they had received it. They went over some options with being, changing country programs. Russia, which could be up to 2 years for a boy and up to 5 years for a girl. Ethiopia, which is becoming more and more popular, so the wait time will more than likely continue to increase for this country as well.

We have decided not to pursue another adoption at this point. It is hard to explain because the whole process is just soooo complex. There are a lot of gray areas. We have invested LOTS of time (21 months) and emotions into this. It is such a slap in the face to have come this far, then at the drop of a hat, Kaz can decide to change their rules and not even consider people who HAD ALREADY BEEN ACCEPTED. VERY frustrating to say the least. We were SOOOO CLOSE, we were expecting "the call" anyday, then it was snatched away from us and we had NO SAY WHATSOEVER. There is no one to blame except for the Kaz gov't (who by the way, thinks this is in the best interest of the children?.?.?.?.?.?) Is it really in the best interest of the children to deny them a forever family? THOUSANDS of innocent children who were so close to having a forever family, will now have to WAIT, WAIT, and WAIT some more.

We will keep all of you posted. Thanks so much to all of you who have been so supportive of us and the decision to add to our family by adopting. We know that we want to adopt in the future, it's just for now, we need some time. We know that this was out of our control, and that there was nothing we could have done to change the outcome, but for some reason, we still feel like we have let so many down. I know that's crazy, but there are A LOT of emotions and thoughts swirling around here!

We just want to thank everyone who wished us well and who supported our decision to adopt. You will never know how much it meant to us.

adoption news (or lack of)


Anyone who has ever been through an international adoption (or domestic) or knows someone who has, knows that it is a VERY complex and RISKY process. Yes, our adoption agency made all of this clear to us when we started the process in January of 2007. Yet we still dived into it with excitement and the mind set that just maybe WE wouldn't have to deal with all of those "issues" that may come up during the process. So, here we are 1 year and 9 months into this process and the first "issue" has come up, and it is an issue that could change our whole course.

Around the first of August, the Kazakhstan government changed their rules and regulations. They issued a statement that every child deserves a loving home and that you CAN NOT specify gender in your paperwork. If you did specify gender, your paperwork would be sent back to your adoption agency here in the US and you would have to start the process completely over, no matter how long your paperwork had been there. Well, we did specify gender because it was okay to specify when we started. We requested an infant girl, 18 mos or younger with minor correctable needs.We DO agree with the Kaz gov't that all children have the right to a loving home...BUT COME ON...if this is truly their desire, PLEASE, JUST ASK these families if they are willing to accept any gender! Don't just send the paperwork back to the US and make us start over. This knocks thousands of families out of the program. Not only does this "prove a point" to families requesting a specific gender, but it RIPS HOPE from these innocent children who were SO VERY CLOSE to having their forever families. This breaks my heart...for our little girl that we will never know...for all of the other families who will never know the child that their heart longs for during this gruelling process.

As I type this, my fingers are going 90 miles an hour and my mind is racing with thoughts. It seems as if I type fast enough or say the right thing, just maybe the Kaz gov't will somehow hear me and just consider all of the families that were so close...and even those that had not been waiting as long...and JUST ASK US!!! YES, YES, YES, we will consider any gender! For a year and 9 months we have been preparing and waiting for our next little one to join our family, and now it seems we will have to wait longer.We have several options, however we are in limbo and don't know what our next step will be. We have to consider each possibility and the pros and cons that come along with each. We have been burned and b/c of that we are hesitant to jump into another situation.

I have rambled on and have not mentioned our agency and what they have said. I spoke with the Kaz program director last Thursday. He has received dossiers (paperwork) back. As of last Thursday, ours had not been returned. We are still hanging on to that little bit of hope that for some reason, ours got passed on through. I don't know why it would have though, feels like we're just wishful thinking. The longest waiting family with our agency had their paperwork returned, so really there is no reason why ours will not be returned. But, like I said...there is still that little bit of HOPE left...right???

Some of our options include-1-staying with our agency and choosing a different country/program that they offer. Country options...Russia (the wait time is 2-5 years(depending on gender specification) after your paperwork is complete...which can take 3-5 months) or Ethiopia (wait time can be 8-10 months AFTER you complete your paperwork...which can take 3-5months)2-choosing a different agency and a different country. This involves more fees and contract costs for a new agency.3-domestic adoption4-having a child of our own, then adopting at a later time.

We are at a loss for words. This adoption was it. It was how we were going to add to our family. We have invested a lot of emotions, time, money and effort into this. This is where our hearts were/are! If you are reading this, please pray that we will feel the same strong desire for what we are to do next. And PLEASE pray for these children who were SO CLOSE to knowing what a loving family feels like, and that the gov't in Kaz will rush families in and place these children with their forever families.We will update as soon as we know any new info

Posted by Donnie and Misty at 12:39 PM

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